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Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Hunting Crocodiles: The Technician Usually Wins Over The Brute

Just as David beat Goliath, the technician usually beats the brute- time and time again. This applies to all aspects of life. I say usually because everything works once and nothing is an absolute. So I have an old story for you from my Father, (a WWII Vet who passed in 2006): In Guadalcanal, Solomon Islands, around 1944, my Dad was on the canal with the 25th ID, occupying the island, during the island hopping campaign. One day a villager came to the soldiers and said a boy had gone missing down by the lagoon and they thought the Old Croc got him. There was a zillion year old Crocodile in the lagoon that was at least 20 feet long and must have weighed over 2000lbs. It was huge and feared by all the islanders. The elders said it was there as long as they can remember. Many animals and children as well as numerous adults became hot chow for the granddaddy Croc. The commander on the ground said it was time to put an end to such terror and swore to the village chief that it would be handled swiftly. So my Dad's platoon was tasked with going down to the lagoon and dispatching the great beast. They loaded up on guns and ammo and grenades and headed down to the lagoon loaded for bear.

Problem was there wasn't a bear down there but a gigantic old crocodile who didn't get old by being weak and stupid. The soldiers lined up on the embankments of the lagoon and began systematically lobbing hand grenades into the lagoon to flush the big croc out. The crocodile had just finished his meal- the missing village boy and wasn't pleased with his post dinner disturbance. With no fear, he swam straight out into the center of the lagoon and faced the platoon of soldiers. The platoon leader was quite annoyed by the "Bring It" attitude of the old Croc. He ordered the soldiers to open fire at once and to unleash hell. Every type of weapon opened up on the croc in a salvo of destruction that would have killed off the Mongolian hoard.

One little problem, big croc was still sitting there smiling at them unharmed. So they opened fire again. Water gushed up as bullets tore up the lagoon from all sorts of rifles, machine guns and pistols. As they stopped to reload, they looked in amazement to see, that the big croc was still there silently laughing at these buffoons, who thought they could defeat the eternal lagoon master. Most of the weapons were low on or out of ammo. The platoon leader was commanded to cease fire cause there wasn't any more ammo o the island and if the Japs attacked, they would be screwed.

 As they grumbled about how ineffective their shooting was, a little boy walked out of the bushes and approached the soldiers. He must have been around 9 or 10 yrs old  and was from the local village-son of a tribal hunter/warrior. He explained that they were doing it all wrong and that the bullets would not penetrate the thick armor of the croc's back and head. The croc's weak spot was the soft white underbelly and throat. The platoon leader said that they couldn't get to it cause the croc was out in the water belly down. The boy said exactly - that's why he was going to have to take care of it for them. Before the platoon leader could protest -the boy stuck his large knife in his teeth and dove off the bank into the lagoon. He swam out to the croc, approaching the croc from his blind spot. Once he was close, the boy reached up and grabbed the croc around the neck with a knife in one hand.

Needless to say the croc was not pleased and began his death spiral in an attempt to knock the boy free. The boy hung on for dear life with his legs and one hand and stabbed the big croc in the neck and belly when he rolled over. The boy stayed on the croc for a sick amount of time and continually kept stabbing the big croc over and over. The water was red with the croc's blood. After awhile the croc began to bleed out. The spiralling finally slowed and then stopped.

Once the boy was convinced that the big croc was dead, he slid off the croc and swam to shore. The soldiers were amazed and speechless. They cheered the boys return to shore and treated him like the hero of the day. Later they winched the big croc in and took pictures. It was longer than two jeeps and wider than a jeep. It was monsterous. They asked the boy, how he knew to do that and he said his Dad taught him that. That's how they hunted croc's for food and skins. The boy had been doing it for several years by then.
So a platoon of soldiers with high powered weapons (the brute) couldn't bring the beast down but a small boy with a big knife and surgical placement of the blade (the technician) killed the giant. The boy was awarded a citation for bravery from the commander and became the local legend.

So when you see the "meatheads" or "wanna be" tough guys slinging weight or doing stupid crap in the gym. Remember the technique lessons that you were taught. Do it right and get the results. Poor form and muscling through a drill doesn't mean you are tough or in shape. It means that you are an amateur and probably a soon to be injured amateur at that. Keep it simple and use good form and proper technique. Go down in weight until you get it right, no matter what anyone else is doing.

Head and back straight, core tight, drive on the heels and FIRE THE GLUTES BABY! Remember that and you can never go wrong.

Dempsey's Resolution Fitness
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